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Men and Women Are Wired Differently for Sex

Countless professionals have revealed that men and women are wired differently, and that's why we respond differently to various situations; intimacy is not an exception.
 

Men have emotional needs just like women do; however, generally speaking, men get much of their emotional fulfillment during sex, whereas a woman needs to be emotionally fulfilled before she can long for sexual contact.
 

It's very possible for a woman to not feel a strong desire for sex unless and until her need for love is satisfied; in other words, she first needs to feel loved by her husband before she hands him the keys to her body.  To her, love is more important than sex; however when she feels loved, her sexual desire increases.  Once she feels emotionally satisfied, her husband can reinforce the connection by his loving and skillful touch, reassuring her that she is loved and important to him.
 

Of course these are generalizations and there are always exceptions to the rules.  It's possible for a woman not to feel the need for a strong emotional connection before she can desire intimacy with her husband.  Likewise, it is possible for a man to want to feel emotionally close to his wife before he approaches her sexually.
 

Great sex is important to both men and women, although the prerequisites for great sex vary greatly between men and women, and even among women and among men.  Everyone has his or her own customized sex-wiring, if you will, and neither is wrong or more right than the other.

In order for marital harmony to exist and prevail, both spouses must be willing to learn each other and to do their best to meet their spouse's emotional and sexual needs.
 

Without proper understanding of the differences in the needs of our spouse we would not be able to make the changes necessary to adjust to our spouse, and sex could then become very routine and mechanical a few years, or even months, after marriage.

The Importance of Spontaneity In The Marriage

In our Newsletter we discussed the importance of some level of spontaneity in the marriage in order to keep the marriage from becoming dull.  It's natural for some routine to take place, especially after a few years of marriage; however, spouses should not become so "comfortable" with their lifestyle that they give up spontaneity altogether.

Many marriages are destroyed because the couple became so absorbed and comfortable with their routine lifestyle, that they simply stopped trying to have fun or do new things with each other.  It's possible that when one or both spouses realize that this happened to their marriage, they may feel that they are too disconnected from each other to even try to make it work.

This is a real threat affecting many marriages today, and spouses should continue to keep the relationship alive and fresh by constantly looking for a few new things or variations every once in a while.

Share your thoughts with us!

Tell us what you think of the information we shared with you.  How does it relate to you and your marriage?  Was it useful to you? Did you learn anything new?  What do you agree with?  What do you disagree with?  Is there anything you'd like to add from your personal experience?

Feel free to post your comments.  Others might benefit from your insights, insha-Allah! 

Jazzak Allah Khair.

TMB Team